flow with the wind?

Where is life taking me? I have no idea.
Is anything at all pre determined? I have no answer
How hard should I be on myself? I don’t know
What is the change that I really need? I am not clear
Life is quite unsettled. Things are in a flux.

I am not sure if I will be happy with just any one thing, and I don’t know the practicability of getting everything I want.

cant believe life!

Can’t believe there are some people who really know precisely what they want at all points in their lives.
Can’t believe how some people would have led their lives in such a way that there is nothing at all which could be changed even if they could, looking back.
Can’t believe there are some people who are have such perfect lives, at least from an outsider’s perspective.
Can’t believe that today’s action will change tomorrow forever, and will take me in a non retractable path.
Can’t believe how some small incident, opportunity, action, event, person could possibly impact something or everything of some later day.
Can’t believe how we fall into the same traps, in spite of realizing they are traps.
Can’t believe how there are some socially created norms and people accepted practices that just go on for years, unquestioned.
Can’t believe how fast mindsets and interests and perspectives can change.
Can’t believe how something that looks totally unjustified and non considerable someday will look perfectly acceptable just a few days later.
Can’t believe I am so jittery and unstable in some matters whereas I am extremely opinionated, have a high conviction and strong belief in some others.
Can’t believe I have very high expectations from life and myself, knowing that it is probably just hope.
Can’t believe how sometimes everything does happen for the good. Well, maybe.

100th post

Wow, i didnt know i have written 100 posts, but I will trust the wordpress’s counter for this.  I would have guessed Im at 40 posts maybe, utmost.

Anyway, its a coincidence that I wanted to write about the journey so far, let me post the same sentence that I had ready:

Interacting with people three years younger, who have just joined my company gave me chance to see how far I have come in the last three years.

Realizations, learnings and changes are plenty, but many things are the same even today. I now understand what they mean when they speak of “Life as a journey”.

And when they say “The only constant thing is change”. It comes in unexpected and sometimes unwanted ways, but in the long run, it has always been for the good.

Hopes, dreams and aspirations unlimited,  there is still a long way to go.

Join me in raising a toast,  may everybody be happy with everything

Cheers

 

exhausted

tired of the run, and somewhat scared about the enormity of the run coming up.

Deadlines are the only things i can see everywhere around!

pushing myself to put one last step before giving up on anything, and am in this mode since sometime.

the reasons are many – high expectations from myself, pushing myself in multiple dimensions at the same time, nothing to lean on for keeping my enthusiasm levels up, small health issues etc.

I want hope.  And I want SUCCESS.

At any cost? what cost? Will it be worth it all?

wierd moods

i don’t love life, i don’t hate life,  i am just learning to ‘deal with’ life

well, whatever has happened so far is good, so i have to trust that the same will continue. no choice, is there?

emotion, belief, logic, rationale – i donno which ones are more basic, and which ones should get more priority over the others

emotion is the inertia part of logic, and belief is the inertia part of rationale – is my curent line of thinking. But how much is the inertia, and when and how will it / should it change?

with great choices come great long term changes

the world is round.

There are often multiple people’s contribution, support, generosity, hardwork etc behind any success story. There are multiple people who would have helped in ways known, unknown, evident, silent wish etc. Its a duty to appreciate each of them in any way possible.

Keep yourself grounded by acknowledging the significant contribution of the support network around you. Nobody can achieve anything in total isolation. Build co-operative networks and systems. Because there is no other choice, to lead to betterment. Either we all progress, or we all are stuck in the time warp wasting our time effort and lives.

What goes around does come back around.

This post is incomplete without a dedication to Murali, who taught me, with his generous and simple approach, about teamwork  as a way of life – for fun, effectiveness and efficiency. I am really glad and extremely happy for it, thank you

diversify

Success masks failure. Happiness masks ( should mask, rather) sadness.

All of these are inevitable.

What gives us happiness and success are often  in multiple domains.

The only trick is to keep your eggs in different baskets, and work on them simulteneously, even if its a little bit, but continously, to reap max rewards.

This is not just like insurance, its paying off continously -Your happiness levels can be kept up by the pay-offs of different baskets, when some are going through bad phases.

Hard times are times to keep the focus spread across, not concentrate on one particular thing as it is going down. You would require the strength from the other domains to keep you going in the hard patch.

But we tend to ignore the ones that we take for granted as going good. So shortsighted and wrong!

trip down the memory lane

Birthday again. Evaluation and analysis time, though not formally reqd.

This is my last b’day post and I can have the same first two statements again, with a small difference – the age. It feels like there has been so much happening, though it would have felt like life is stagnant on an everyday basis.

Landmark birthday

I want to store a snapshot of me as of today to comback and revisit at some later date. Can anybody lend me a  Pensieve? <The non HarryPotter-aware people,  chk this >

Life brings choices, people, awareness and experience.

I am all set to play the game.. Bring ‘em on..

choices

Do I want a comfortable life?

Do I want a satisfying life?

Does comfort mean satisfaction to me?

These are at the core of the choices I have to make.

Any thoughts?

game analogy to my life

I feel like a person standing in one corner of a huge tennis court and hitting back all the shots aimed at me with high speeds, from an automated machine at the other end of the court.

Whereas what I want to learn and do is to play tennis.

Agree that I have to learn to hit shots to effectively play tennis, but how much is becoming an expert at one kind of shot, at one location contributing to my overall efficiency in the game?

Agree that I wont really be the greatest ever tennis player if I start playing the entire game right now, but iplayignthe game is what I have to start now, isn’t it? But who is gong to let me play? All they know is that I can hit one particular shot.

Hen and egg?

In principle, breadth – exposure, experience- is more crucial at this stage, when I have a grasp of the basic building block. Looking to breakout of the loop.